Laughable
by Howlitzer
Summary: ...describes this story pretty well. Ooh, self-burn. Short attempt at humour. Or whatever you call it.


Random thing. Not very much to it.

Lame jokes ahoy.

* * *

On a normal day, Sonic receives a message from his friend Tails. He says that their friend Amy Rose needed some help with something, but she was too busy to say what it was.

Being the good guy that he is, Sonic speeds over to the girl's Station Square apartment and manages to help her quell an oil fire in the kitchen. He had experience in such things since Tails liked to work a lot with mechanics and the like.

Thanking the blue hero for his help, Amy offers to make him dinner. For once, Sonic obliges and waits on the couch just outside of the kitchen, eventually nodding off…

He wakes up to a rather…well…

"Uh…uh, Amy? What are you…? Why…?"

"You know, Sonic," she says while batting her eyelashes, "I've always been a little interested in you."

"Define 'a little'," he says wryly.

"Well…it's just been that I've noticed something."

"Yeah?"

"About you."

"Yeah."

"Want to hear it?"

"Uh…n-"

She leans close and whispers in his ear. "I've always wondered how you got such a big…package."

"W-what? Amy, quit it!"

"Aw, come on! Lemme see it!"

"Amy, no! It's mine!"

"Nuh-uh," she says forcefully. "I'm gonna see it for myself!"

"No, you can't! If you try to handle it like that…!"

"It feels so rough! I want to see it!"

Sonic struggles as she pins him down. "Amy, you can't! That package is special, there's only one like it!"

"And it's gonna be mine, in just a moment!" Her eyes widen in amazement.

"Oh, lord! It's huge, Sonic!"

"Amy, wait-"

Finally overpowering the hero, Amy reached downwards and squeezed his package.

Of **Mentos **breath mints!

"Where'd you get something so big? Look at it!" she exclaimed, turning the jumbo-sized packet in her hands.

"I got it on a trip, Amy. Sheesh, if you wanted some you could have just asked! Now look, it's all over the floor."

"Not true. See," she says while popping one of the mints in her mouth. "Found a good one."

"Har-har. Hope you enjoy it, at least."

"Mmm…it's so good in my mouth."

Sonic raises a brow and resists the urge to say something.

"It's all hard at the beginning…"

He drums his fingers on his arm.

"So you just suck on it for like, hours," she says while lying back on the sofa. "And you just roll it around with your tongue."

He twitches nervously.

"Sometimes it goes down your throat and all, and you kind of gag sometimes, but it's not so bad once you get used to it."

Sonic resists a smirk.

"I usually get a hold of a few and put a bunch of them in my mouth, and like…sometimes it's a lot to handle. But you know, the worst part is when you're like, a bit more than halfway down the pack, and you have to sort of stroke it to get everything out. You know what I mean?"

"Y-yeah…"

"But once you squeeze everything out, it's totally satisfying."

"I'm sure…"

"Well, gonna go check on dinner. Don't want my breasts to get too hot."

She leaves, and Sonic breathes a sigh of relief.

"That was close…"

"You know, Sonic..."

"Yeah?" he replies as he picks up the mints on the floor.

"I'm really happy that you came."

"…"

He turns to the camera and smiles madly.

"What was that, Amy?"

"I said: I'm happy that you came when I asked you to."

"I-I'm sorry…could you repeat that?"

"Honestly," Amy says while coming out of the kitchen. "I'm trying to say that I'm satisfied now that you came for me!"

"**That's what she said!**"

"Dammit, Sonic! You said you would stop that!" she yells.

"I'm sorry, Ames," he says in between laughs. "I…it's just…"

"Too hard to resist?"

"That's what she said…"

"You…aaagh!"

"Sorry, sorry!" he says quickly. "So…uh…what are we having tonight?"

"Chicken breasts, Sonic."

"I see," he says thoughtfully, a hand under his chin. "Are your breasts always tender?"

She snorts, already seeing through his ploy. "Yes, my _chicken_ breasts are always tender, Sonic. Honestly, if I didn't like you so much-"

"Hey, your door's open."

"It's summer. My back door is always open."

She narrows her eyes as he snickers.

"Don't. You. Dare."

"I won't, I won't."

"Good. I'm just gonna check on the pasta one more time."

"Why's that?"

"If it boils over, the water goes all over the place."

"Doesn't sound so bad," he says with a shrug.

"Well, it gets me all wet, _that's what she said_!" she says while pointing an accusing finger at him. "Ha! How do you like that? Beat you at your…own…"

Sonic barely stifles a laugh as she drops her head in shame.

"I hate myself so much right now…"


End file.
